The Heart of a Coward
by Equipoise
Summary: Mostly lust-fueled thought drabbles from Rumple regarding the temptation that was Lacey and the challenges that face a coward in love. So far, canon through the S2 finale. Rated M, just to be safe ;-)
1. Shards of Humanity

And so... Lacey liked the monster in her man.

He pondered this, twirling his cane absentmindedly. True Love's Kiss had seemed so nearly within his grasp when Belle's memory had been empty, a tabula rasa upon which to re-write history. But this Belle - _Lacey _- he self-corrected with a few choice words- this polluted perversion of his sweet, foolhardy darling... This girl would not be so easy to win.

The challenge was tantalizing enough, and the Dark One responded all too eagerly to Lacey's husky observation:

"You really are as dark as people say."

Surging forward into Darkness to win the twisted heart of the scantily clad barfly seemed his most obvious choice. However, here he knew he stood on a precipice. The shards of his humanity for which Belle had declared she would never stop fighting... would they be enough to keep him from falling over the edge?

He was willing to take that chance, he thought, with a smile that was little more than bared teeth. To careen, headfirst, into all that Belle despised and become a true Beast, with Lacey's lips to claim as his prize. And on the other side of that kiss, his Belle would be waiting to bring him back to salvation.

He had to believe that, if nothing else.

He was out of second chances and all that lie ahead was darkness, with or without Lacey's guiding hand.

He glanced idly at the clock. Lacey would be hustling pool at the Rabbit Hole about now.

Screwing up whatever passed for courage in the heart of a coward, Rumplestiltskin rose from his seat and headed out into the night.


	2. Would it be Enough?

He had not kissed her yet. Of that he was acutely aware, if she was not.

That first night, with the Sheriff of Nottingham still unconscious on the ground, he could have kissed her. From the gleam in her eye, he suspected he could have taken her right there, up against the wall, the sheriff's blood running in rivulets around their feet. The idea certainly held its appeal and the Dark One growled his pleasure from within. He tightened his grip on his cane, his body reacting to the thought of Lacey's face contorted in pleasure while he roughly buried himself within her, her tiny excuse for a dress pushed to her waist.

With Belle, he had been so gentle... suppressing years of frustration in an effort to think only of her pleasure. Lacey, he suspected, would not desire gentility. Quite the opposite, in fact. Again, his head swam with visions of all the deliciously vulgar things that her youth and his power could allow. He would have her right here, in the shop, bent over the counter in front of him. Or on her knees, servicing him in secret as he conducted business. The thoughts tantalized and delighted him, but a flicker of doubt nagged at his mind.

If he succeeded in bringing Belle back, would she not object to her body having been used in such a manner? A shiver ran up his spine, effectively extinguishing the more pleasant sensations that had been igniting below.

Surely, Belle could forgive what he had done in the name of love?

_Love, eh? Is that what you feel for Lacey?_ The Dark One sniggered.

Gold leaned heavily on the counter, resting his forehead in one palm.

Belle had loved the man; Lacey desired the Beast. And he certainly desired Lacey, this scarlet woman wearing Belle's visage. Would it be enough?

_Love is a mystery to be uncovered._

Suddenly feeling all his centuries at once, Rumplestiltskin shuffled to the front door to flip the sign to Closed. Across the street, he caught sight of a pair of long legs striding confidently in his direction. He followed them up a wickedly scanty dress to the smiling face of his beloved. His dark heart flipped on its axis and a renewed sense of purpose surged into his limbs.

Would it be enough? He didn't know. But it was not a bad place to start.


	3. So Close

Sometimes he starts to wonder which one of them he is trying to save.

He spends his days with the ever-tantalizing Lacey, pouring her drinks and feeding her stories of his darkest deeds. The delight in her eyes, raw and feral, fills him with equal parts desire and dread. Every purr of satisfaction that escapes Lacey's parted lips is a knife to his belly and a spark to his loins.

It is a strange thing, this dichotomy of emotion for his lost-yet-found love. The longing for Lacey's warm flesh wars with the desperate need to recover his Belle.

Belle is always just a little too close and little too far away. When he grabs Lacey's waist to pull her roughly to him, the Dark One keens and rears its head, ready to strike. But Mr. Gold holds back, not yet ready give in - holding onto the edge of sweet temptation, if only to savor the moment just before the sin.

His mind gallops ahead, playing out the evening in tableaus of passion:

The soft length of her thigh as he slides his hands to her center. A throaty cry as he enters her. The delicious ecstasy of feeling her wrapped around him, eagerly accepting his dark heart and broken soul and begging, aching for her own release as he takes his pleasure. Feeling her shudder and tighten around him before he slips over his own brink...

Steadying his thoughts, but just barely, Rumplestiltskin allows his gaze to fall on Lacey's lips.

_Not yet_, he steels himself, shifting his weight to cover his body's reaction to her presence.

So close... and yet so very far away...

_Not yet._


	4. True Love's Kiss

It hadn't ended with a kiss.

_It hadn't ended at all_, he resolutely reminded himself. At least not as far as Belle was concerned. The thought both comforted and tortured.

This was a journey from which he had not expected to return. And yet his Belle would be waiting. With her open arms and her warm lips. Lips that had traced all the secrets of his flesh and still welcomed him with no hesitation.

The curse memories had been reversed with the simple application of a potion and his own foolish weakness, but he could not think to regret it now. He tried to wait until the end of the world with Lacey, just to spare Belle that pain, but he could not. Ever the coward, he had given in and used that damn potion. The potion that did what a kiss should have done. But Lacey had not loved him.

Lacey lusted for him, perhaps – but less for his person and more for his power. He could practically smell her arousal when he knocked about the inhabitants of Storybrooke on the flimsy excuse of a social offense. It was heady and enticing, but he had not allowed his lips to transgress.

_You didn't love Lacey either. A kiss would never have worked._ The thought came unbidden but it was truth as surely as the sun would rise in the East. The lascivious preoccupation with her resemblance to his own sweet beloved had died as soon as Belle was back in his arms. She was real and she was _his_. He nearly growled in a possessive satisfaction at the memory of the day they thought would be their last.

Locked in their embrace, Rumplestiltskin had felt no need to hide the proof of his desire. Belle had smiled as she took him in hand, obviously enjoying his gasps of pleasure. Some semblance of Lacey's mischief sparkled in her eyes as she sunk to her knees, giving him the first real release he had known in far too long.

Bodies entwined in a desperate reverie, clothes had soon become superfluous. She was hot and slick and more perfect than any heaven he could imagine. He had taken his fill of her, giving her everything he could, using his mouth, his hands, his body, and even his magic to bring her over the edge, again and again until she begged him to let her body rest. He ceased reluctantly, his own aching limbs still tirelessly seeking out the feel of her skin. Despite his centuries, he had magic on his side, and what price could be paid, now that the world was ending?

Mr. Gold sighed deeply and contemplated the ocean ahead of them. With Bae gone, he struggled to find meaning in this world or the next, but if he could fight one more battle… There was still Belle, who kissed him with her soul and looked into his eyes with such absolute certainty:

"I will see you again"

_Yes, _he nodded slowly_. Yes, my darling Belle. You will._


End file.
